More Run-ins with the Criminal Element

Well, well, well. Bravo to the wonderful job you stupid would-be theives did on my car. Of course I call you "would-be" because you couldn't even get the job done. I wish you had stolen my car. If I had gotten home today and it was gone, I would have had a nice down payment on a new Toyota Tundra. Instead I am left with a bill to repair all the things you broke in your pathetic attempts at robbing me.

First, let me compliment the nice job you did putting an antenna in the crack of my passenger door. You really did a number on some chrome strips and totally destroyed my weatherstripping. Too bad you were still about 2 feet short of reaching the lock. That doesn't even qualify as close.

Second, nice handywork on drilling out my doorlock. You wasted your time though. That lock has been broken for years. You could always put any old thing in there and turn it to make the door unlock. If you had tried that first you would have saved yourselves alot of trouble. It is also really easy to simply pop the lock on those cars with a scewdriver. Much less effort than drilling.

The same goes for my ignition. I really appreciated the handiwork involved in separating the housing around my steering/ignition. That too has been broken for years and anything remotely resembling a key can be turned to start the car. So why didn't you take it?

Oh, how funny. After all that painstaking labor, my battery was dead so it wouldn't start! I'm so sorry. You should really bring along jumper cables the next time you decide you have the right to take something that doesn't belong to you. Its not even your greed that angers me, it is your stupidity. That car has been easily broken into many times by good, hard-working, intelligent thieves. Thats right... Those Fresno theives could really teach you a thing or two.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys

Ok, so I am reprinting an article from the Bakersfield Californian Newspaper website without permission because they have one of those stupid subscription services and you wouldn't be able to access it if I hyperlinked.

Deputies seize 29 pounds of marijuana after pursuit arrest
By The Bakersfield Californian | Tuesday, Apr 11 2006 2:06 PM

Last Updated: Tuesday, Apr 11 2006 2:06 PM

A 25-year-old Bakersfield man was arrested Tuesday morning in an almond orchard after a short pursuit when officers found more than $140,000 worth of marijuana and hash oil in his vehicle, Kern County sheriff’s deputies reported.

Investigators from the sheriff’s Major Violators Unit and deputies from the Rosedale Substation attempted to stop Stephen Stilwell in the area of Stockdale Highway and Superior Road which is east of Enos Lane, deputies said.

But he raced north on Superior Road to the orchard near Brimhall Road, deputies said. Deputies arrested Stilwell at about 7:30 a.m. after he ran away from his car in which he left 29 pounds of marijuana valued at $116,000, three pounds of what is believed to be liquid hash oil valued at $24,000, and one kilo of kief (marijuana being converted to hashish that in this process has no value), officers said.

Also in the car was a loaded 12-gauge shotgun, deputies said.

Stilwell was booked into the Kern County jail on charges of felon in possession of a firearm, manufacturing hashish, possession of marijuana for sale and evading, deputies said.


How does this pertain to me? Well... I was driving in from a field this morning when I noticed a strange person in a gray SUV pull into an almond orchard that happens to be down the street from where Julie's parents live. As I came around the corner, I saw some squad cars with their lights flashing patrolling the area. It was clear they were looking for someone.
I stopped when I got to a white SUV where a guy about my age and build was putting on body armor and getting out an automatic rifle. Explaining that I was a neighbor, I asked if they were looking for someone, and told them about the gray SUV that clearly doesn't normally belong there. The deputy with the big gun told me the SUV was one of their undercover agents and asked if I had seen anyone on foot. I hadn't. He said it would be in my best interest to stay out of the area for a while.
I proceeded down the street to check on my mother-in-law who I suspected might be home alone (like any good son-in-law would). Finding her not at gunpoint, I told her what happened and went back to my work. I figured that the house was well beyond the walking distance of even the fastest criminals (there are also at least a 1/2 dozen other houses between the orchard and their house). Plus, I have full confidence in my mother-in-law to defend herself. Seriously! Any criminal who sees her as a potential victim is an idiot and totally deserves the merciless beating he would surely recieve. I also made sure the doors were tightly locked when I left the house.
Nothing else really happened, but it brought a little excitemtent to my day.

Nintendo

Feeling a little nastalgic. I found a site where you can play every Nintendo game ever made on your computer for free.
You do have to have Java for it to work properly. On my computer, the games are playable, but run a little slow. Hopefully, some of you will have better luck.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

Wrath of God

I already knew God hated SUVs, but now there's proof. He just caused the ground to open up and swallow one!

Reporting the Obvious

I don't know how long this link will work, but this has to be the dumbest reporting ever. I don't know if they will change the title of the article, but right now it reads, "Valley in middle of a rainstorm." Talk about the media being irrelevant. Anyone who has been out of the indoors for 30 seconds in the last 36 hours could tell you that.

Here are some more possible topics for future Fresno Bee articles:
"The Sky is Blue"
"Some people are men, others women"
"Dodgers fans are mentally deficient" (That one is obvious to me anyway)
"People asking to be paid for work"
"Wife mad at cheating husband"

MCC Sale

Anyone going to the MCC sale?

When Breaking News Happens...

You heard it here first folks! Yesterday I posted a link to a live action version of the Simpsons intro. Today I find out that the Simpsons will be actually using this as their intro on their new episode this week (Sunday 8pm EST/PST).

Talk about Smack!

I just found this video that I have been dying to have a link to. I am always trying to explain to people how Jim Rome got famous. If you don't know, it was of course the Rome vs. Chris...err.. Jim Everett incident, and now I have a link on my blog so that everyone who didn't know can see the video for themselves.

The Simpsons

Anyone who likes Simpsons as much as me will enjoy this. Someone shot the intro frame-for-frame in real life with real places/sets and actors. This must have taken a lot of work and is a fitting tribute to a great show.

More cat nonsense

Here's one of the most hilarious animal videos I've ever seen: Cat Jump. I don't know why its so funny, but I can watch this over and over and laugh every time.

MEOW!

I was playing this game online 'cause I love to make my wife mad, and I knew that if this didn't do it nothing would. The thing is, our cat totally understood what I was doing. He woke up from his nap and was staring at me with the most frightened and disturbed look. Now he is giving me a look like I am a killer and won't let me touch him.

Here's another good one. My best shot was 710 ft. Anyone do better?

Food for the Soul

Giada De Laurentiis



I love her show Everyday Italian on the Food Network simply because it has great recipes and for no other reason. I also like (actually love) the recipes in her cookbook of the same name. I believe cookbooks should have lots of pictures and this one doesn't let me down, except that she isn't in enough of them.
Well, anyway, she has a new cookbook coming out next month, and will be doing booksignings to promote it. She will be in various locales in the Bay Area or LA area on different days between 4/29 and 5/9. I don't know if my wife would want to go, so anyone interested in taking a roadtrip with me?

Back and Better Than Ever

YES! My blog is finally back up. Blogger has been having problems, and I haven't been able to access my blog for about 3 days. I hope these problems are over and we can get back to normal. So if you have been getting "error" or "forbidden" messages when you try to access my blog it seems to be better now, but that may not be permenant.

Don't count your chickens before they are hatched: I just went to my blog and found the formating all messed up. They must be working still.
Please stick with me. I'm sure they will get it fixed soon. If not, I will move my blog to another service and will let all of my readers know where to find me.

March Madness?

I've only seen about 10 total minutes of the tournament so far this year. Last year I took the week off, and watched all the coverage CBS could dish out. The little bit I did see made me not want to watch at all. I thought Winthrop totally got robbed today with that phantom foul call. How can a guy who is standing perfectly still with his hands straight up in the air commit a foul? He wasn't even moving. Doesn't he have a right to the space he occupies as long as it is not directly under the basket? I guess if your a 15 seed, you don't have a right to much of anything except getting bounced in the 1st round by the refs.
Big thumbs down...
-to the refs in that game.
-to me for not blogging enough this week
-to That 70's Show not ending last year

Big thumbs up...
-to Savemart for the beautiful cut of beef I purchased and BBQed tonight
-to Craig Kilborn for being such a funny SOB. Where is that guy? I would pay money to see more of him. I enjoyed him on Sportscenter, the daily show and finally his latenight show. Too bad that didn't work out. The only thing I've seen him in since then is OLD SCHOOL (aka the funniest movie ever), and he was hilarous. Actually, I also saw the Sportscenter he returned to do, but Dan Patrick barely let him get a word in edgewise. That makes me think... Kilborn has this bit that he does where he plays this really straight, guys-guy, jerk very similar to his role in Old School (did I mention its funny?). I bet Dan Patrick is the inspiration for that bit.
-my soft bed. I am going to it now. My alarm is set for 4:45 am. Talk about March Madness!

Huh?

I was going to make some mean jokes about the name of this farm, but I felt too bad. Lets just say, if you are going to start a business, take some time to think about ALL the ways a name can be taken. That goes for naming children too.
Oh, I can't resist.
"I don't know what they grow, but I bet it gets tall fast."

Think my joke is lame? Comment and tell me a better one.

Light it up

It rain fairly steadily in bakersfield all day yesterday. As I was driving around town with my windshield wipers on their highest setting, I barely noticed a few things that almost looked like cars--it was hard to tell through all the rain. They couldn't have been cars, though, since they didn't have any lights on. You see, California law stipulates that one must use headlights during any sustained rainfall or visibility less than 1,000 feet. Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself (very bottom of the page). Oh, and for those of you who think your parking light (those little orange ones) count, they don't.
I am not a fan of daytime running lights, but I think this is a good law. It is so much easier to see someone in a storm if they have their lights on. Plus, when the roads are wet, you need extra time to react and seeing someone a spit second earlier could make a huge difference. Too bad it will never be enforced. No cops want to spend a rainy day getting out of their cosy squad cars to write $96 tickets.

She drives real fast and she drives real hard

In working for the farm, I often do a lot of driving. I would have to say that this is by far the most stressful and frustrating part of my job. The roadways in Bakersfield are downright dangerous. The combination of poor urban planning, explosive population growth, the popularity of SUVs and inconsistently enforced traffic laws has led to what I believe is one of the most dangerous areas to drive in the country. I am seriously scared to be on the road much of the time!
I could go on and on about how stupid people are and how hypocritical our traffic laws have become, but I won't (ok, maybe I will later). Instead here is what I think is a great idea: go to http://www.campusmoviefest.com/movies.html and click on "A Meditation on the Speed Limit". Big props to these guys/girls. This is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that our country needs from the younger generations. I don't know how happy their parents are about them risking their lives though.

Camping Trips

This summer, Julie and I went camping. Julie is the best girl camper ever. She loves it. Plus hot dogs and smores are 2 of her favorite foods. Needless to say, we had a great time and can't wait to do it again. We are planning to go some time this year with my brother if his back ever heals. We are also thinking of planning some 3 day weekend type trips. Does anyone out there have a great place they like to go that we might enjoy? Any suggestions or recommendations would be much appreciated.

Here are some pictures from out trip to Crater Lake in Oregon...
CRATER LAKE

Let me just say that this lake is freaking huge, and scary to look at. The edge of the lake is a sheer cliff ALL THE WAY AROUND. If you are afraid of heights (I am), this can be tough to deal with, but it is worth it. You can't understand how huge this is until you experience it in person. I have never felt so small in my life as I did the day I stood at the edge of this lake. It is a totally humbling experience, and I will always carry it with me as part of how I see myself in relation to the world around me.

ME


JULIE

No Body Know the Troubles I've Seen...

It looks like I will spend most of the spring sick again this year. Last year I got very sick in the end of January, and was sick until about mid April. This year I got a bad cold about 3 weeks ago. Took a course of antibiotics, felt terrible for 2 weeks, got better for about a week. Now I have terrible ear pain and sore throat. One of my tonsils is swollen to about the size of Mini cooper. Looks like I will be spending another morning in the doctors office.
I top it all off, I can't sleep at 1 AM and I am typing a post right next to my sleeping wife. She is super pissed right now. Must go make amends.