OVER-RATED (chant)

I been spending some quality time with a tractor lately, and it has left me with plenty of time to think. I know the Oscar nominations came out this week, but I hardly know what was nominated because the news is only reporting on a certain movie I'm so sick of hearing about that I won't even mention the title. Although, I will say that I can't believe how ironic and euphemistic the title is! Its not like I really care about gay issues either way, I just hate how the media tries to find any scrap of sensational news and then report on only that for as long as they can make the story last. Is anyone actually doing real journalism anymore?
Ayway, in honor of Oscar nominations I have been thinking about movies lately and decided to release a series of my own movie lists. I will get it kicked off (in my typically critical fasion) with 9 movies I think are totally overrated. Why not 10? The number 10 seems so trite, doesn't it? Plus, I only thought of 9.

9 Overrated Movies (in no order of importance)

- Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
In case you missed this one, it is a documentary about how this hard rock band got therapy and worked out all their issues so that they could stay together as a band. The thing is, when I watched it I realized that they are still totally screwed up after all the therapy. Nothing really changes. One guy gets sober, and another falls off the wagon. That pattern pretty much repeats over and over. Lots of critics gave this movie positive reviews, but I don't really see what is great about it. These guys just wanted to film their lives so that they could sell a product they didn't have to work to make to their already loyal fanbase. Lame money-grab. Nothing more.

- Top Gun
I don't really hate this movie, just think it gets more love than it should. Anyone who is a fan of the Sports Guy knows of all his references to the latent homo-eroticism in this one. I'm so glad he had the courage to say what everyone else was thinking, that beach volleyball scene has to be the gayest thing in the history of all cinema. Way more gay than Brokeback, more flaming than Robin Williams in the Birdcage. I'm not gay bashing here, I'm just saying that the people in that scene are claiming to be straight, but aren't acting like it. That may be how guys play volleyball at Immanuel High School, but at my high school guys were into chicks! I do have to say that Tim Robbins is so funny and goofy in this movie, and laughing at the few scenes he is in saves the film in my book.

- The Sixth Sense
"I see dead people!" All I have to say about this one is this: if you didn't figure out that Bruce Willis was dead before the end of the movie when it is revealed, then you should seriously question your mental capacity.

- The Princes Bride
I actually like this one. I just think people give it more credit than it deserves as a children's movie. With all the violence, gore and hinted at sexual abuse, is this film really appropiate for children? I say sure, but our society seems to have decided that children should be sheltered from all form of this bad stuff. At the same time however, society seems to turn its back on some of the worste offenders, and I think this movie is a good example of the societal inconsistency.

- Field of Dreams
BORING! Someone decided they didn't know how to write drama, so they wrote a story with an intentionally intricate and dragging plotline, knowing that it would fool some people into thinking they were seeing something dramatic and emotional. Where some might see dramatic pauses, I see nothing happening and am unimpressed.

- Titanic
This was the first film that came to mind when I started thinking about the concept. As it turns out, just about everyone I asked mentioned this film as one of their choices for most overrated. I'm sick of hearing how romantic it is. If it is so romantic, than how come the pick-up line "hey, I don't have any money... want to go fornicate in the back of a car" never works? Huh?
I don't have a problem with the awards it won for costumes, sets of speciall effects. They built a freaking ship and sunk it. How cool is that? But that doesn't make it a great movie. I remember going to see this in high school with my girlfriend. It was me and 2 buddies (all with our girlfriends), and we all pissed the girls off royally with our behavior in the movie. I have to rate the unintentional comedy scale very high in this movie. In fact, even though the concept hadn't been put into words for me yet, I think this was one of the first times I recognised unintentional comedy.

- Any Steven Segal Movie
I don't think this needs much. The fact that anyone would pay to make a movie with him in it is more credit that he deserves. Thus, the overrated status.

- Unforgiven
Well, someone has to say it. Might as well be me. Clint Eastwood isn't tough! He lives in Carmel. How tough can someone from Carmel be? Talking like you smoke a carton a day doesn't make you tough, either. Plus, this movie was one of the most boring westerns I've ever seen.

- Its a Wonderful Life
I'm not saying this one isn't good. Just overrated. The amount of attention this movie gets is insane. It isn't even the best Christmas movie. It's not the best Jimmy Stewart movie either. I may not even be one of his best 5 performances. And, while it may be one of Capra's more balanced and personal films, it isn't very interesting subject matter when compared with his other work. I will give you a much more interesting Capra/Stewart film in a later post. How did this one even become a Christmas tradition? Why did it beat out other films like Holiday Inn, White Christmas, etc. to become the one that everyone is supposed to watch during the holidays?


Well, there they are. Feel free to let me know just how right or wrong I am.
P.S. "I see dead people."

Doin' it like Bunnies

Check out this funny movie parody site. The videos are 30 second summaries of famous movies. Oh yeah, they are reenacted by animated bunnies. Ones I find especially funny are The Shining and Jaws.

Hockey

Last night we went to a hockey game. Julie was very excited to see a fight. In every other area of life she absolutely hates fighting. On the occasion where I watch boxing, UFC, etc. she can't even watch. It freaks her out. But for some reason, she has no problem with fighting in hockey, and she can't explain why she feels this way. This is very frustrating to me because I like to understand things.
I find fighting interesting for 2 reasons.
1) Why people fight.
The average person's answer is ANGER, but that shows a total lack of observational skill. If you really look at all the forms of fighting in our society, you will find a meriad of reasons and motivations. Economics, status, self-defense, territorialism.
2)Strategy of fighting.
I've noticed that I seem to take an academic approach to life in a way that many other people don't. I'm always studying things and trying to understand different approaches and strategies. When it comes to this, fighting is one of the most fascinating subjects to me. Maybe you've never thought of this before, but there are as many, if not more, intricate details to the strategy of a fight as there are in any major sport. There is a lot to think about.

Winning the lottery on the same day the Giants win the World Series

Well, I titled my last post "That had to hurt," and today I smashed my finger. So I'm calling this post "Winning the lottery on the same day the Giants win the World Series." A guy can dream can't he. I thought about adding to it "my wife has finally agreed to do that thing she won't do," but then I thought about how her dad reads this. My next post would be called "my father-in-law shoots me."
Looks like I've pretty much done myself in now anyway. Oh well...
I don't really have much to say right now, but I really wanted to get a wish into a post title and see what happens. I'll try to get an enflamatory opinion on something very soon and write about it.

P.S. Yes. I had to call my wife in and get her editorial approval before I wrote this. I couldn't argue with you if you said she is pretty dictatorial. She is also really cool though. Honestly, I challenge everyone who reads this to find a guy who's wife would let him write this. Her rule is "if it is funny enough, it overrules the inappropriateness (sic)."