I been spending some quality time with a tractor lately, and it has left me with plenty of time to think. I know the Oscar nominations came out this week, but I hardly know what was nominated because the news is only reporting on a certain movie I'm so sick of hearing about that I won't even mention the title. Although, I will say that I can't believe how ironic and euphemistic the title is! Its not like I really care about gay issues either way, I just hate how the media tries to find any scrap of sensational news and then report on only that for as long as they can make the story last. Is anyone actually doing real journalism anymore?
Ayway, in honor of Oscar nominations I have been thinking about movies lately and decided to release a series of my own movie lists. I will get it kicked off (in my typically critical fasion) with 9 movies I think are totally overrated. Why not 10? The number 10 seems so trite, doesn't it? Plus, I only thought of 9.
9 Overrated Movies (in no order of importance)
- Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
In case you missed this one, it is a documentary about how this hard rock band got therapy and worked out all their issues so that they could stay together as a band. The thing is, when I watched it I realized that they are still totally screwed up after all the therapy. Nothing really changes. One guy gets sober, and another falls off the wagon. That pattern pretty much repeats over and over. Lots of critics gave this movie positive reviews, but I don't really see what is great about it. These guys just wanted to film their lives so that they could sell a product they didn't have to work to make to their already loyal fanbase. Lame money-grab. Nothing more.
- Top Gun
I don't really hate this movie, just think it gets more love than it should. Anyone who is a fan of the Sports Guy knows of all his references to the latent homo-eroticism in this one. I'm so glad he had the courage to say what everyone else was thinking, that beach volleyball scene has to be the gayest thing in the history of all cinema. Way more gay than Brokeback, more flaming than Robin Williams in the Birdcage. I'm not gay bashing here, I'm just saying that the people in that scene are claiming to be straight, but aren't acting like it. That may be how guys play volleyball at Immanuel High School, but at my high school guys were into chicks! I do have to say that Tim Robbins is so funny and goofy in this movie, and laughing at the few scenes he is in saves the film in my book.
- The Sixth Sense
"I see dead people!" All I have to say about this one is this: if you didn't figure out that Bruce Willis was dead before the end of the movie when it is revealed, then you should seriously question your mental capacity.
- The Princes Bride
I actually like this one. I just think people give it more credit than it deserves as a children's movie. With all the violence, gore and hinted at sexual abuse, is this film really appropiate for children? I say sure, but our society seems to have decided that children should be sheltered from all form of this bad stuff. At the same time however, society seems to turn its back on some of the worste offenders, and I think this movie is a good example of the societal inconsistency.
- Field of Dreams
BORING! Someone decided they didn't know how to write drama, so they wrote a story with an intentionally intricate and dragging plotline, knowing that it would fool some people into thinking they were seeing something dramatic and emotional. Where some might see dramatic pauses, I see nothing happening and am unimpressed.
- Titanic
This was the first film that came to mind when I started thinking about the concept. As it turns out, just about everyone I asked mentioned this film as one of their choices for most overrated. I'm sick of hearing how romantic it is. If it is so romantic, than how come the pick-up line "hey, I don't have any money... want to go fornicate in the back of a car" never works? Huh?
I don't have a problem with the awards it won for costumes, sets of speciall effects. They built a freaking ship and sunk it. How cool is that? But that doesn't make it a great movie. I remember going to see this in high school with my girlfriend. It was me and 2 buddies (all with our girlfriends), and we all pissed the girls off royally with our behavior in the movie. I have to rate the unintentional comedy scale very high in this movie. In fact, even though the concept hadn't been put into words for me yet, I think this was one of the first times I recognised unintentional comedy.
- Any Steven Segal Movie
I don't think this needs much. The fact that anyone would pay to make a movie with him in it is more credit that he deserves. Thus, the overrated status.
- Unforgiven
Well, someone has to say it. Might as well be me. Clint Eastwood isn't tough! He lives in Carmel. How tough can someone from Carmel be? Talking like you smoke a carton a day doesn't make you tough, either. Plus, this movie was one of the most boring westerns I've ever seen.
- Its a Wonderful Life
I'm not saying this one isn't good. Just overrated. The amount of attention this movie gets is insane. It isn't even the best Christmas movie. It's not the best Jimmy Stewart movie either. I may not even be one of his best 5 performances. And, while it may be one of Capra's more balanced and personal films, it isn't very interesting subject matter when compared with his other work. I will give you a much more interesting Capra/Stewart film in a later post. How did this one even become a Christmas tradition? Why did it beat out other films like Holiday Inn, White Christmas, etc. to become the one that everyone is supposed to watch during the holidays?
Well, there they are. Feel free to let me know just how right or wrong I am.
P.S. "I see dead people."
Thursday, February 02, 2006
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9 comments:
I disagree with most of your picks, but the fact that someone else hates Steven Segal makes you right in my book. I hate hate hate hate that jackhole.
I think your right on with many of these, especially Top Gun and Titanic. I had the same situation with my girlfriend in high school with that damn movie.
The Top Gun volleyball scene is very gay but I would go with the Rocky and Appollo running on the beach scene as the gayest ever. When was the last time you saw two straight men race each other on the beach wearing only John Stockton shorts and high socks with it ending with them hugging?
I never got a chance to realize that Bruce Willis was dead in the middle of Sixth Sense because that piece of crap Will came back from watching the movie (on opening night no less) blabbering about Bruce Willis being dead and I happened to be within ear shot of it. He did the same thing with Fight Club.
i love the word 'jackhole'. i am going to use it in a sentence before the day is through.
jimmie - thanks for reminding me of Will Arvance's penchant for ruining movies. I still loved Fight Club even though he told us the ending. I might watch that movie this weekend.
Jay & Sara - I also love the word jackhole. I can't remember where I first heard it, but I use it with great enjoyment and would be happy to give props to whoever introduced me to it.
The first time I heard the word "jackhole" was at the end of The Man Show. I think it is the production company started by Adam Corrolla and Jimmy Kimmel. It is also at the end of Jimmy Kimmel's talk show.
Here is what Wikipedia says about "jackhole"
I don't know Dana, the movies I see more around Cristmas time are White Christmas and A Christmas Story. I'd rather have the latter as the traditional seasonal flick to enjoy.
i agree that "it's a wonderful life" is over rated. i also think that for most, it is the traditional christmas movie. i only watched it for the first (and only) time a few years ago. it wasn't bad, but i didn't really see how it related to Christmas, other than that was the season.
now, younger people may associate "a Chistmas story" with this season and movies, as we've grown up on marathons of it. but i'd even say that it's over rated. i enjoyed seeing it once or twice, but these marathons have killed it.
i'm curious why jay disagrees with most of your picks. i don't know if they would be the top 9 over rated movies in my life, but i think you've done a fine job explaining why you think of these movies that way.
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