Scooter Bonds??

Does the White House really have nothing better to do than make statements about how disappointed they are in Barry Bonds? I'm actually very surprised. I thought lying to grand juries was par for the course at the White House. In fact, I assume that if Bonds is convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice, President Bush will commute his sentence. Right Scooter?

Ok, ladies, Cosmo gives really bad advice. Here's how to destroy your relationship (Cosmo-style). Worst advice ever!

Could this be true?

I'm too lazy to sit down for 5 minutes to post on my blog, but these people rescued a penguin, nursed it back to health, and trained it to go to the store for them. I don't know if I can believe it. But it was on TV so it must be true!

Bugger Off!

Here's something for all of you who resent my lack of posting. (Beware some bad language)


I have been busy enjoying soccer.

So it turns out that most Americans would rather have MacGyver around in an emergency than any other TV or movie hero. Question: Why do people in New Zealand care?

Just plain sad.

Crazy. I came across this story about a guy who spent days building a guillotine with which to end his own life. Lets just say, he was successful. I thought to myself, this has to be truly odd and unusual. Then I found even more stories of men doing this. The most amazing thing to me is that these people often spend days building these large, elaborate devices without arising suspicion from anyone. Sad.

Kevin Everett

This story is absolutely amazing. We hear so often about scientific research that will have an impact on medicine, but it is sometimes difficult to see how it will impact the lives of people. Everyone who has played football at any level knows that you walk on the field knowing full well that you may break your neck and never walk again, or may even die. Breakthroughs in medical and emergency response are making that much less likely. Fifteen or twenty years ago, Kevin Everett would have likely died from his injuries. Even five years ago, he would have likely been paralyzed for life. Thanks to the efforts of emergency responders and medical professionals, and to some new treatments, Everett moved his arms and legs today, and has a good chance of making a full recovery.
Many of the techniques used were developed by the Miami Project.

Cheater Cheater Bundchen Eater!

Ok, so you are a football team who cheats by using a video camera to steal defensive signals. Then, one game you get totally caught, but, amazingly, you get away with it... Most likely because the NFL doesn't want to tarnish the legacy of its most recent dynasty. Can you say "cover up"? An intelligent person would wipe his brow, take a deep breath, thank the Lord (or the devil with whom you made a deal) you got away with it, and never risk doing it gain. I mean, if you got caught once, it would surely happen again. That logic was clearly lost on the Patriots who clearly cheated this weekend. As far as I'm concerned, they have cheated in every game they've won in the last 10 years. Good luck proving they didn't.

And Jimmie, I know what you are going to say. At least they never got caught. Much less twice!

Moving Day

helping my brother move to Oakland this weekend... Julie just said, "You don't have to point out my wrongness for everything I say." Wrong again. Luckily, she is eating donuts, so she can't be mad. Plus, I have lots of goodwill built up right now after buying her this cool machine.

I was just getting ready for bed tonight, when I got an email from a friend of mine. He is in the army and he just got to Afghanistan. I know that we have been at war (sort of, I guess not officially according to some) for years now, and there are people that I know or have known who have been serving. This is the first time I can say that one of my friends, who I communicate with and try to see regularly, is an active participant. It is a strange feeling. There are a number of complex issues involved in the whole situation, and my feelings are even more conflicted by some issues surrounding my friend's enlistment. I guess it just really brings home a situation that I have spent so much time thinking and talking with others about. Whether or not it changes any of your positions, it just feels totally different thinking about the war when someone you care about is actively involved in fighting it. I haven't totally thought through all my emotions; I just hope he's safe.

Who has time for kids?

As you may or may not know, we have quite full house of animals. For those who don't know, I will briefly run down the list.
1)D'Wayne - cat - the elder statesman of our animals at the house, he is an indoor cat who loves attention from people and insists on sleeping in our bed every night even though I am allergic to cats.
2)Kota - Border Collie/Australian Shepherd Mix - He is our calm and gentle dog. He good and lives to please and get attention from his people. His downsides are that he likes to find things that died a long time ago and roll around in them, and sometimes he is a little neurotic.
3)Daisy - 8 month old border collie - Crazy! Always into everything. Digs, chews, jumps on, pulls over. Cute and ornery.
4)Fishtank - 55 gallons - I currently have 6 very active fish and 2 crayfish. I am really happy with this tank, but the crayfish destroy everything and make a lot of waste. I am constantly changing water, replacing plants, cleaning algae, clearing filters, etc.
5)Sweetie - Mustang (the horse, not the car) - Julie got Sweetie years ago. We plan to build a corral by our house, but for now she lives at Julie's Grandma's. She's a lot of fun and really only needs to be fed twice a day and visited by the farrier occasionally. When it isn't too hot, Julie tries to ride her or work her out at least once a week. I used to do it too, but developed a severe horse allergy last year and can't really do it any more.

Now that you have the stats, you might be saying, "that isn't so much." Well, after working at least 10 hours a day (including many saturdays), when you get home and it is 108 outside, taking care of all the pets sometimes feels like a little more than I can handle. The dogs are always into some kind of trouble, and everywhere I try to lay down there is cat hair. Well, now there is another one. Julie's family got 4 new bred heifers a while back and the first one gave birth this week. The calf seems fine, but the mother got all messed up during labor and died yesterday. Now Julie is hand feeding the calf and we are hoping it will live. Maybe she will take some pictures tomorrow and post them.

Random Madness

Here's a link to make the best Jeopardy player I know even better. Study up Ed!

Here's a link for the girl who loves evil cats (all cats really, but especially evil ones). Seriously, when she sees an angry cat, she laughs uncontrollably. She loves this video:


She likes this one even more:


Here's a link for Jimmie

How about a novelty mint? One for the Woody's, and one that would go great with eggs.

An Apple a Day

I'm back and better than ever. Kudos to Apple for the super-speedy service. I called them one day, received a box in the mail the next day, sent my laptop in the next day, and got it back 2 days later totally fixed at no cost to me. Bravo! I honestly don't know how their service could be improved. Perfection is the goal, excellence will be tolerated.

Well, the MacBook is going back to Mac for repairs. Luckily, it looks like they are covered under warranty. Hopefully, I will be back up and running by next wednesday. Not having the internet is so hard. Its amazing how you take things for granted until you don't have them.

Doh!

Well, sorry. My internet totally took a crap on me. It will likely be a few weeks before I get it back, but I will still try to post whenever I can. I plan on using other people's internet as much as possible. I'm using my in-laws computer right now. (I can't talk right now, we are being watched)

Becks Debut? Running blog

Well, Beckham finally made his MLS debut today. Here is my running blog of the game:

Pregame: Ok, so Becks won't start, but is expected to play as a sub. Regardless of that, the Galaxy need to start winning games if they want to make the playoffs. Imagine, after all the tickets sold and TV attention the team doesn't even make the playoffs. They had better do well in the SuperLiga then.

Starting Line-ups: Ok, who needs Beckham? Galaxy should easily win this game based upon the starting 11's, but will they play organized at all?

Minute 1: Wow, the pitch looks terrible. MLS will be so much better off when teams no longer play in multi-use stadiums. I don't even know how they can dribble on that pitch.

Minute 5: This has nothing to do with soccer, but Julie just made me some homemade chocolate chip cookies. mmmmmm!

Minute 25: I am working on some changes to my template while I watch the game. Why do I feel like I am being subliminally influenced by the new galaxy uniforms?

Minute 28: DC goal. Very poor goalkeeping. Maybe LA can learn from that; put the ball on frame and see if the keeper makes a mistake. Have they even taken a shot yet?

Minute 29: Thinking about Ed. What a lucky guy. A galaxy fan from the get-go. Not only does his team still exist (mine was SJ, but they should be back in a year or two), they will be on TV all the time now in out-of-area places like fresno.

Minute 32: At least they are doing the picture in picture to show Becks on the bench. I felt like I missed so much of the action in the Chelsea exhibition. They just announced the attendance 46,686. Wow. More than the Nationals usually draw at RFK.

Half: I'm sleepy. Should I even watch the second half? This is just really ugly soccer. LA looks like a rec league team. Their organization is terrible.

Minute 50: I haven't seen much Landon Donovan heckling. I hear they were brutal in Toronto this week. Every time he touched the ball they would throw pink streamers at him. HA HA!

Minute 52: Harms just got slammed. That was a stupid foul. Harms just got harmed. Isn't it ironic.

Minute 67: Martino just slid from behind for no reason. Baffling. There must be something between these players. That was shocking. It looked like there was clear intent to injure. The Referee really had no choice there. That is a textbook automatic red card.

Minute 71: They are bringing Beckham in. This is clearly just to appease the fans. The weather is terrible, they are a man down, and there is no way Beckham will help them win this game.

Minute 65: They just cut away from about a minute of play to show Becks walking around in a suit before the game. What were they thinking? ESPN, hire a director who knows how to broadcast soccer. Fire the guy who directed this game. Also fire Eric Wynalda. He is a cunt. That's right. I said it: cunt, cunt, cunt. Luckily, no one is reading this boring post anymore so it will go entirely unnoticed.

Final: Thank God its over. Maybe Becks can teach his mates how to play before their next match. Notes to Frank Yallop: No Organization. Terrible Finishing. Stupid Red Cards. Keep it up and you won't be able to find a coaching job in AYSO next year.

BARCLAY'S ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE

Thank goodness the Premier League starts again in two days. I know none of you care, but you can all go.......... Okay, sorry about that. It has been a long summer of depressingly poor football on the television. Maybe now I can actually watch a game where the tv coverage shows more of the action than the injured player on the bench (was that movie called Bend it Like Beckham or Bench it Like Beckham? I can't remember.) Lots of dramatic story lines in the Premier League. If I have the energy, I might write about some in the future. Even if I don't, none of you will care.

Feeling Crabby

I think the Giants should bring back the Crazy Crab. Who's that? He was a sort of anti-mascot they had for only one season in the 80's. I know they still have the costume; he made a cameo in I think '98, but he hasn't been seen since. They should bring the crazy crab back next year. Why not? the Dodgers have the Crazy Pig.

All this just so I could get in a crack about Lasorda being a crazy pig. Ah, the lengths to which I will go to make Jimmie mad.

Last crab siting:

Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

BRAVO! There's nothing I love more than seeing someone inexplicably compromise their morals. How did you go from hating to participating? Well, anyway, welcome WOODY.

Ironic

It turns out the FCC is giving some pretty crazy call letters out to broadcasters now. Under the recent indecency crackdown, I'm pretty sure the FCC bans these stations from broadcasting the actual name it gave them. I'm not even going to post what the names are for fear that my mother will come wash my keyboard out with soap! You'll have to check them out for yourself here (check the comments for even more examples). I would love to hear if anyone knows of any others.