Wrath of God

I already knew God hated SUVs, but now there's proof. He just caused the ground to open up and swallow one!

Reporting the Obvious

I don't know how long this link will work, but this has to be the dumbest reporting ever. I don't know if they will change the title of the article, but right now it reads, "Valley in middle of a rainstorm." Talk about the media being irrelevant. Anyone who has been out of the indoors for 30 seconds in the last 36 hours could tell you that.

Here are some more possible topics for future Fresno Bee articles:
"The Sky is Blue"
"Some people are men, others women"
"Dodgers fans are mentally deficient" (That one is obvious to me anyway)
"People asking to be paid for work"
"Wife mad at cheating husband"

MCC Sale

Anyone going to the MCC sale?

When Breaking News Happens...

You heard it here first folks! Yesterday I posted a link to a live action version of the Simpsons intro. Today I find out that the Simpsons will be actually using this as their intro on their new episode this week (Sunday 8pm EST/PST).

Talk about Smack!

I just found this video that I have been dying to have a link to. I am always trying to explain to people how Jim Rome got famous. If you don't know, it was of course the Rome vs. Chris...err.. Jim Everett incident, and now I have a link on my blog so that everyone who didn't know can see the video for themselves.

The Simpsons

Anyone who likes Simpsons as much as me will enjoy this. Someone shot the intro frame-for-frame in real life with real places/sets and actors. This must have taken a lot of work and is a fitting tribute to a great show.

More cat nonsense

Here's one of the most hilarious animal videos I've ever seen: Cat Jump. I don't know why its so funny, but I can watch this over and over and laugh every time.

MEOW!

I was playing this game online 'cause I love to make my wife mad, and I knew that if this didn't do it nothing would. The thing is, our cat totally understood what I was doing. He woke up from his nap and was staring at me with the most frightened and disturbed look. Now he is giving me a look like I am a killer and won't let me touch him.

Here's another good one. My best shot was 710 ft. Anyone do better?

Food for the Soul

Giada De Laurentiis



I love her show Everyday Italian on the Food Network simply because it has great recipes and for no other reason. I also like (actually love) the recipes in her cookbook of the same name. I believe cookbooks should have lots of pictures and this one doesn't let me down, except that she isn't in enough of them.
Well, anyway, she has a new cookbook coming out next month, and will be doing booksignings to promote it. She will be in various locales in the Bay Area or LA area on different days between 4/29 and 5/9. I don't know if my wife would want to go, so anyone interested in taking a roadtrip with me?

Back and Better Than Ever

YES! My blog is finally back up. Blogger has been having problems, and I haven't been able to access my blog for about 3 days. I hope these problems are over and we can get back to normal. So if you have been getting "error" or "forbidden" messages when you try to access my blog it seems to be better now, but that may not be permenant.

Don't count your chickens before they are hatched: I just went to my blog and found the formating all messed up. They must be working still.
Please stick with me. I'm sure they will get it fixed soon. If not, I will move my blog to another service and will let all of my readers know where to find me.

March Madness?

I've only seen about 10 total minutes of the tournament so far this year. Last year I took the week off, and watched all the coverage CBS could dish out. The little bit I did see made me not want to watch at all. I thought Winthrop totally got robbed today with that phantom foul call. How can a guy who is standing perfectly still with his hands straight up in the air commit a foul? He wasn't even moving. Doesn't he have a right to the space he occupies as long as it is not directly under the basket? I guess if your a 15 seed, you don't have a right to much of anything except getting bounced in the 1st round by the refs.
Big thumbs down...
-to the refs in that game.
-to me for not blogging enough this week
-to That 70's Show not ending last year

Big thumbs up...
-to Savemart for the beautiful cut of beef I purchased and BBQed tonight
-to Craig Kilborn for being such a funny SOB. Where is that guy? I would pay money to see more of him. I enjoyed him on Sportscenter, the daily show and finally his latenight show. Too bad that didn't work out. The only thing I've seen him in since then is OLD SCHOOL (aka the funniest movie ever), and he was hilarous. Actually, I also saw the Sportscenter he returned to do, but Dan Patrick barely let him get a word in edgewise. That makes me think... Kilborn has this bit that he does where he plays this really straight, guys-guy, jerk very similar to his role in Old School (did I mention its funny?). I bet Dan Patrick is the inspiration for that bit.
-my soft bed. I am going to it now. My alarm is set for 4:45 am. Talk about March Madness!

Huh?

I was going to make some mean jokes about the name of this farm, but I felt too bad. Lets just say, if you are going to start a business, take some time to think about ALL the ways a name can be taken. That goes for naming children too.
Oh, I can't resist.
"I don't know what they grow, but I bet it gets tall fast."

Think my joke is lame? Comment and tell me a better one.

Light it up

It rain fairly steadily in bakersfield all day yesterday. As I was driving around town with my windshield wipers on their highest setting, I barely noticed a few things that almost looked like cars--it was hard to tell through all the rain. They couldn't have been cars, though, since they didn't have any lights on. You see, California law stipulates that one must use headlights during any sustained rainfall or visibility less than 1,000 feet. Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself (very bottom of the page). Oh, and for those of you who think your parking light (those little orange ones) count, they don't.
I am not a fan of daytime running lights, but I think this is a good law. It is so much easier to see someone in a storm if they have their lights on. Plus, when the roads are wet, you need extra time to react and seeing someone a spit second earlier could make a huge difference. Too bad it will never be enforced. No cops want to spend a rainy day getting out of their cosy squad cars to write $96 tickets.

She drives real fast and she drives real hard

In working for the farm, I often do a lot of driving. I would have to say that this is by far the most stressful and frustrating part of my job. The roadways in Bakersfield are downright dangerous. The combination of poor urban planning, explosive population growth, the popularity of SUVs and inconsistently enforced traffic laws has led to what I believe is one of the most dangerous areas to drive in the country. I am seriously scared to be on the road much of the time!
I could go on and on about how stupid people are and how hypocritical our traffic laws have become, but I won't (ok, maybe I will later). Instead here is what I think is a great idea: go to http://www.campusmoviefest.com/movies.html and click on "A Meditation on the Speed Limit". Big props to these guys/girls. This is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that our country needs from the younger generations. I don't know how happy their parents are about them risking their lives though.

Camping Trips

This summer, Julie and I went camping. Julie is the best girl camper ever. She loves it. Plus hot dogs and smores are 2 of her favorite foods. Needless to say, we had a great time and can't wait to do it again. We are planning to go some time this year with my brother if his back ever heals. We are also thinking of planning some 3 day weekend type trips. Does anyone out there have a great place they like to go that we might enjoy? Any suggestions or recommendations would be much appreciated.

Here are some pictures from out trip to Crater Lake in Oregon...
CRATER LAKE

Let me just say that this lake is freaking huge, and scary to look at. The edge of the lake is a sheer cliff ALL THE WAY AROUND. If you are afraid of heights (I am), this can be tough to deal with, but it is worth it. You can't understand how huge this is until you experience it in person. I have never felt so small in my life as I did the day I stood at the edge of this lake. It is a totally humbling experience, and I will always carry it with me as part of how I see myself in relation to the world around me.

ME


JULIE

No Body Know the Troubles I've Seen...

It looks like I will spend most of the spring sick again this year. Last year I got very sick in the end of January, and was sick until about mid April. This year I got a bad cold about 3 weeks ago. Took a course of antibiotics, felt terrible for 2 weeks, got better for about a week. Now I have terrible ear pain and sore throat. One of my tonsils is swollen to about the size of Mini cooper. Looks like I will be spending another morning in the doctors office.
I top it all off, I can't sleep at 1 AM and I am typing a post right next to my sleeping wife. She is super pissed right now. Must go make amends.

The Weekend in Pictures

This is such a great place! I dropped $50 here without even trying. Ouch.

Julie talked me into going to what she calls CPK this weekend. As expected, I didn't like it very much, but she loves that place.

Here's a pic of Julie driving me around (or crazy). Here's how our conversation went:
ME: Hey Jules, its cloudy. Whats with the Sunglasses? Who do you think you are, Bono, or something?
HER: You wish! (implying I am secretly in love with Bono)

Darn her quick wit! I wish I married someone stupider than me.


This is Julie on her horse, Sweetie. This horse can be pretty ornery and mischievous. Actually, I shouldn't say that. She can be very sweet, and she is almost always a perfect angel when I want to work her or ride her. She occasionally does some things to make Julie mad, but I can understand that.

Julie looks really good riding her, and today was a beautiful day for a ride. All of the almond trees are blooming.
I guess spring has sprung.

On a side note, I am currently listening to Your Gonna Need Somebody on Your Bond by Taj Mahal
I got his CD Giant Step/De Ole Folks at Home this weekend and am loving it. I was debating whether to get a collection of his hits or buy his old albums. Well, I went the album route and I'm not regretting it yet. I may have to get another soon.

Pathetic & Trivial Friday Post

I don't know if I've said this before, but I have a serious problem. Not that one. Not that one either... Just let me finish! I try to avoid listening to music on the radio, but on occasion I have run across the song Here Without You by 3 Doors Down. I think this song should totally be a twangy country song. When you hear it, you can totally imagine some guy singing it in a whiny country music falsetto. Sometimes, if I am in the car with Julie, I practice singing it in my best country singer voice.

Stay tuned. I am going to try to take some pictures of my weekend adventures to share with y'all, so there's something to look forward to.

If your interested, I am currently listening to I Stood on the Banks of the Jordan by Reverend James Cleveland. I bet you didn't know that I am into old gospel and Spirituals. It has a gritty/worldly, yet hopefull feel that really appeals to me(I like bluegrass for the same reason). It doesn't deny the difficulties in the world. It stares them strait in the face and says, "Bring it on." I would love to get some vinyl of some old spirituals some day.

To let it go... and so to find a way

Well, I'm in a really bad mood today. I wouldn't say its for no reason, just for lots of little reasons. I actually have been a little cantankerous and irritable all week, but today it started to come to the surface like a painful blemish. This got me thinking about the different things people do to unwind, decompress, de-stress, etc. Since I have moved to Bakersfield, I have been having trouble developing new habits to get over a hard day. I had more ways than I think I needed in Fresno. My favorite... I would call my good friend Adam and we would go have a pint in a quiet bar somewhere in tower where the world could never find me. But, alas, the Tower District is 2 hours and about 30 bucks in gas away from me right now, and my good friend is most likely carousing with at least two beautiful women right now...
But back to my subject of what people do to unwind. Here are some things that have been working for me lately:
-Play FIFA on my playstation
-Listen to music
On this subject, check out I Love the Rain the Most by Joe Purdy
or for something completely differnt, I have been enjoying Arctic Monkey recently, but I know most won't like this.
-Drink Beer and eat Salty snacks (I never fails... to give you a hangover)
-Watch DVDs of the Simpsons. Watching this show to decompress after a long day has been a tradition for me since college. Unfortunately, the local station stopped playing an hour of Simpsons reruns in the evening. Now I only have my DVDs to console me. Anyone who wants to buy me season 7 I welcome to do so. I might send my wife out to get it right now though!

Things I don't do:
-Drive (if I can avoid it)
-Talk to people who annoy me. This runs the risk of sending me over the edge and unleashing a tirade that even the most annoying person in the world doesn't deserve.
-Discuss sensitive issues with my wife.

Well, I don't really know where I was going with this. I'm sure I'll look back and think about how poorly written this post is, but I won't delete. I couldn't take the backlash that I would get from my readers.

Evil Genius or Just Evil? You Decide!

Well, well, well... My last post generated quite a bit of wild speculation about why I want a huge fish tank. Clearly some of you see me as a mad scientist (not too far off). Ok, I'll tell you what it is for, with the caveat that anything I publish here is proprietary intellectual material. For those of you who are idiots, that means you can't steal my ideas.
As many of you know, I have become interested in bass fishing of late. I recently found out that small bass (about 6-8 inches) keep very well in a fish tank. I have even found websites of some scientists and college profs who have kept them. In case you still want to steal my ideas (even after that strongly-worded warning), I'm not linking to these sites. If you want to steal my idea, you will have to do your own work.
So here is my idea: I am interested in making a Skinner box . But instead of using a rat or other land animal, I will be using a largemouth bass. This will allow me to do operant conditioning experiments and gather data to better understand the cognition of bass and other fish. Specifically, I am interested in learning how quickly bass fish learn and modify behaviors.

Now its time for the test portion of my post (don't worry! there's only one question)
The end result of my experiments will be:

a)I will never get laid again (luckily I hid my extremely nerdy qualities until after marriage. Or did I?)

b)I will become the greatest bass fisherman the world has ever known (I may already be that, though.)

c)I will get tired and watch Star Trek (I don't like the show, but all this is making me think I might like it soon)

d)All of the above

Please feel free comment and tell my what a loser I am or join my losery ranks and give me ideas for my experiments.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?
Igor: And you won't be angry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.
Igor: Abby someone.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby someone. Abby who?
Igor: Abby Normal.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME?